Dec. 27th - Sat

Christmas was amazing this year!!  I just love spending time with family and friends.  I love the look on my kids faces when they open up their presents and got what they asked for.  The food this year was awesome.  We had ham, dressing, sweets and we even tried cooking Duck for the first time.  It was really good.  I can't wait to cook another one. 

As Christmas time comes to a close and the New Year is right around the corner.  It is a time I like to reflect on the past year and what the new year will hold.   I have been doing just this the past couple of days.  I have been working on my goals for 2015.  I haven't wrote them down yet, still working on tweaking them.  I am excited about each one of them. 

As I reflect back through 2014 - I am overwhelmed.  It has been a hard year in some ways.  I have been through a lot but I have come through it all and a stronger person because of it.  I have lost people in my life that I thought at the time were my friends.  I have been talked about, behind my back, called so many different names and told things on me that were not true.  I have been hurt more than I thought that I could ever be hurt.  One of them, I am still working on getting over and moving onward. 

Through all of these let downs by other people, I have learned so much about myself.  I have learned that I am stronger than I thought that I was at the time.  I have learned that I can get through anything - as long as I have the Lord on my side.  I have learned that even when people say they are your friends it doesn't mean they truly are your friends.  The best thing is ... I have learned that my family has my back.  They are always there for me, especially when I am at my lowest. 

I am learning to move on .... to leave these people behind.  God will have other friends, better friends, out there for me.  There are lessons to be learned with each one.  Some I may know now and some I may not know until later and that is ok.  God will bring me through all of this and make me a bigger and stronger person for it. 

I had some good things happen through last year.  I was treasurer of our recreation department and I took over as President this year.  I did a lot of praying and seeking God before I took over and I have peace that this is the direction he is taking me.  I am not honest if I didn't tell you I was a little nervous but I am sure I will be able to handle it.  I just want to take care of these kids.  This is a passion of mine - to make sure these kids have a place to play sports.  Another journey .....

There are things in my life I want to change in 2015.  I want to be healthier .... and in the process finally lose this weight.  I want to be more organized - with my business, personal and my home.  I want to get closer with God and have more quiet time.  I want to have time to read, work a puzzle or just have some 'me' time.   Be better with money - save more, keep working on getting out of debt and give more.  These are on my goals list for the new year.  Now, I just have to make a plan to make sure I can work on each one of them.  I am so excited to let 2014 go and bring in a new year. 

Here I come ... 2015!!!

Dec. 10

I had surgery almost three weeks ago.  The doctor took out both of my ovaries and a big mass of scare tissue that was attached to my colon.  The doctor told my husband that he understood why I was in so much pain and that he got it all.  I am so so thankful that I made the decision to go to another doctor.  I would probably be in the same situation I was before I changed doctors.  I would probably still be in pain and strung out on pain meds.  I realized now - that I was not really functioning too well.  I was in more pain than I thought at the time.

That is all behind me now.  Another journey that I have gone down and I am coming out on the other side.  I have so much to be thankful for during this journey and so many things I have learned.  I have learned that it is ok to ask for help.  We really don't have to do everything ourselves and as a woman, wife and mother - I am so use to doing it all myself.   I also learned that when God brings us to something He will give us what we need to make it through.

I am reminded of all that I have been through and I have been through a lot.  Not as much as some people and I am grateful because it could be always be worse.  I guess the worse time was when I had my thyroid removed and found out I had cancer.  That was the longest 6 months of my life and the hardest.  I had to go through two surgeries, radiation iodine (which meant 3 days of isolation), then the many tests to make sure they got all my thyroid out and that I didn't have any more cancer cells and all this time without taking my thyroid medication.  If you don't have thyroid issues you really can't understand what being hypothyroid is like.  It is so hard on people and hard to explain.  I remember one time trying to fold a load of clothes and I was so out of breathe and it wiped me out.  I had 3 small kids at the time.  They were wonderful through the whole process, but I would sit and cry because that summer they just had to stay at home and take care of their mom.

Even as bad as my worse day that year, I still got through it.  I came out ok and my kids survived.  This is just one of the many stories that I have of going through a journey.  I have had seven surgeries since the first thyroid removal surgery.  And I have come through them all ..... and I will come through the next one too.  I know that as long as I have God with me I can make it through anything.

Thank you God for being with me and my many journeys and for getting me through each and everyone of them.  Most of all .. for making me stronger in the process.  I am truly blessed!!!

Friday Nov 21

My surgery was yesterday.  The doctor removed both of my ovaries and a lot of scar tissue.  Not sure how but there was some scare tissue on the end of my colon.  Can't wait to see what doctor says about that scare tissue.  He told my husband after the surgery that was done, that he understands why I was in so much pain.  I am glad that it is over with, except for the healing from the surgery. 

I am doing really good.  The pain from the surgery isn't too bad, I have had worse.  I am looking forward to the speedy recovering and getting back on my feet.  Seven weeks of pain was not any fun and the to have surgery on top of it. 

I thought about it last night and I have had seven surgeries since 2001.  That was the year that I  had my thyroid removed and found out it contained cancer; which then I had to turn around and have the rest of it removed - two thyroid surgeries within a month.  Then all the testing and killing the small piece of thyroid that somehow got left in my body.  That was an eventful 8 months - I will never forget.  Then there was the two surgeries for the kidney stones I had and gallbladder removed, partial hysterectomy and then yesterday the ovaries removed.  All their own stories. 

I have learned a lot from this event I have been through.  I have had 7 weeks to ponder and do some thinking.  I have learned that I am stronger than I think that I am.  But I have also come to the conclusion that I have to get myself in order.  I know that the past surgeries I could not have prevented but I want to be healthy.  I want my next 50 years to be the healthiest of my life.  I want to have the most energy and feel the best I have ever felt.  So, how do I get there? 

First I have to come to terms with the choices that I have made over my life.  My bad food choices and not wanting to exercise.  I have got to start making the right choices.  I have been trying to eat better, but if I am totally honest, I can do so much better.  I know that I need to cut out so many
things.  So, for the next few weeks, while I am recouping, I am going to be digging into the best plan for me.  I know from the past that I have got to eat a lower carb diet.  I have to find a happy medium that I can be happy with and live with for the rest of my life.  This just isn't a diet for me, it is a lifestyle change.  Can't wait to see what I find ...

Then there is the exercise component.  This is something that I definitely need to do and find something that I will stick to.  Not just do a few weeks or months and quit.  There again I want to find something that I will enjoy and want to keep doing.  One step at a time .....

This can all be overwhelming but I am going to take one step at a time.  I am excited to be starting again on this journey. I think this time I am going to get it right and not quit!!  But I guess that is what this journey is all about .... taking one step at a time and then another step and another step.  When your time is right it will all just click into place.  

Thursday, Nov 6th

I wonder why sometimes we go through the things that we do.  Why do people get sick, lose their jobs, have love ones die and the list goes on and on.  Why do things happen to some people but don't seem to happen to others?  Why are some people stronger than others?

Since I have been under the weather the past four weeks, I have been thinking these things.  I am so use to being able to go and do and this past four weeks I haven't been able to these things.  I have been in pain but the weakness has been worse.  I just haven't had a lot of energy.  Thank goodness for my spark and Advocare products because I am sure they have helped me keep some energy.

This time has made me think about why God does this to me every so often.  Is it to slow me down? To make me take time to rest?  I am sure that has something to do with it.  My husband thinks it is so I will have to depend on other people.  I have had to get my husband to go grocery shopping for me and do things around the house.  I have been able to wash clothes and do some light housework but it is only when I feel like it.  I am learning through all of this that I cant' keep doing everything.  I need to start letting others do things.

I have also been thankful that even though I have felt really bad, there is always someone out there that feels worse than I do.  I am too thankful that my family has been there for me.  And the friends that have been awesome.  I have been overwhelmed with the ones that have called, text or private message.  It has truly blessed my heart.

I do pray for those that we going through health issues, for family members that are having health issues, for those that have lost loved ones and those that are having financial troubles.  No matter how big or small or problems ... God is always there for us.  That I can never be thankful enough for .....

Oct 21st

Man, what a week I have had.  I have been in a lot of pain for over a week.  Went to Urgent Care on Saturday and after doing x-ray they said it was kidney stones.  So, I followed up with my Urologist and she ended up saying that I had stones in my kidney but they were ok and they wouldn't be making me have all this pain.  So, I ended up after a week, calling my female doctor.  He found two cyst on my ovary.   I guess that is a good thing - at least I know for sure what it is.

Now, I am not quite sure that the cysts were causes this horrible pain.  I honestly believe that I had stones and that on this past Saturday, when the pain was the worse, I passed the ones that I had.  Since this past Saturday the pain hasn't been as bad.  I can handle it with just some Tylenol instead of pain pills. I guess I will never know though ...

In this down time, I have realized a few things.

1) I don't like when people have to do things for me.  I like being in control and I like doing things for myself.  I don't like having to depend on people.
2 ) That I need to take control of my health.  Whether I can prevent cysts from coming back or not (these aren't my first ones) I want to be healthy.  I want to be healthy.
3) You really find out who your friends are when you are sick.  I had people check on me that I didn't think would and then some that didn't even call that I thought would.  I am so thankful for the people that are in my life and that I know will be there for me. It makes me think about being there for others when they need me.  Am I there for others?  This too needs to change.

So, what changes do I need to make to be healthier?  Boy, that is a big question and where do I get started.  Drinking more water - making sure I get some exercise in - and making sure I eat healthier!!  I just need to take the first step and get started.  I know the main thing is just getting started and NOT quitting.  I have already started making some changes but I know that I can do so much better. So here we go ..... step after step

Mon, Oct 13th

What a crazy weekend and day.  I had to go to an urgent care on Saturday and found out that I have kidney stones.  I don't like having kidney stones.  They are NOT fun. 

So while I am having some down time I am trying to get some things done.  Thank goodness I have a new book to read.  I would really go crazy if I didn't have one to read.  Got some small projects I have been putting off that I have time to work on now. 

I figured I have two choices:  I can either sit here and grip and complain because I can't do what I had planned or I can enjoy this down time and find something that I can do.  It doesn't help to whine and complain - in fact, it just makes the time worse.  I do believe that everything happens for reason.  Sometimes we just need some down time. 

Off to do some reading ..... I do hope these stones pass quickly though. 

Monday Oct 6th

I have been thinking a lot the past couple of days about goals.  I haven't ever been one to set goals.  In the past, I just haven't been good at hitting whatever goal that I set.  I guess I would set them and do nothing; then wonder why I didn't hit it. 

In the new book that I am reading - Act like a Success - Think like a Success by Steve Harvey.  In the chapters that I read this weekend really emphasized setting goals.  That is really is important.  This is what he says in the book:

Goals are essential because they give you realistic, measurable, and specific targets.  They are necessary benchmarks that give you the energy, confidence and assurance to keep moving in the right direction toward your dreams.  They can also serve as a handy map for attaining your dreams.

So, I am going to sit down and write out me some goals.  I do have several areas of my life that I am working towards a specific thing.  One of the things I am working on is losing weight.  This is a journey I have been on for awhile.   But something that I really want - really bad.  So, goals I will set.  In this area, I am going to set small goals so that I can use them as stepping stones to keep going. 

I do have other areas, but I think I will concentrate on this one at the moment.  I can do this ....

The goals shapes the plan - The plan shapes the action - The action achieves the results and The results brings success.

From Failing Forward by John C. Maxwell

Now to get busy .... to be continued