Friday Nov 21

My surgery was yesterday.  The doctor removed both of my ovaries and a lot of scar tissue.  Not sure how but there was some scare tissue on the end of my colon.  Can't wait to see what doctor says about that scare tissue.  He told my husband after the surgery that was done, that he understands why I was in so much pain.  I am glad that it is over with, except for the healing from the surgery. 

I am doing really good.  The pain from the surgery isn't too bad, I have had worse.  I am looking forward to the speedy recovering and getting back on my feet.  Seven weeks of pain was not any fun and the to have surgery on top of it. 

I thought about it last night and I have had seven surgeries since 2001.  That was the year that I  had my thyroid removed and found out it contained cancer; which then I had to turn around and have the rest of it removed - two thyroid surgeries within a month.  Then all the testing and killing the small piece of thyroid that somehow got left in my body.  That was an eventful 8 months - I will never forget.  Then there was the two surgeries for the kidney stones I had and gallbladder removed, partial hysterectomy and then yesterday the ovaries removed.  All their own stories. 

I have learned a lot from this event I have been through.  I have had 7 weeks to ponder and do some thinking.  I have learned that I am stronger than I think that I am.  But I have also come to the conclusion that I have to get myself in order.  I know that the past surgeries I could not have prevented but I want to be healthy.  I want my next 50 years to be the healthiest of my life.  I want to have the most energy and feel the best I have ever felt.  So, how do I get there? 

First I have to come to terms with the choices that I have made over my life.  My bad food choices and not wanting to exercise.  I have got to start making the right choices.  I have been trying to eat better, but if I am totally honest, I can do so much better.  I know that I need to cut out so many
things.  So, for the next few weeks, while I am recouping, I am going to be digging into the best plan for me.  I know from the past that I have got to eat a lower carb diet.  I have to find a happy medium that I can be happy with and live with for the rest of my life.  This just isn't a diet for me, it is a lifestyle change.  Can't wait to see what I find ...

Then there is the exercise component.  This is something that I definitely need to do and find something that I will stick to.  Not just do a few weeks or months and quit.  There again I want to find something that I will enjoy and want to keep doing.  One step at a time .....

This can all be overwhelming but I am going to take one step at a time.  I am excited to be starting again on this journey. I think this time I am going to get it right and not quit!!  But I guess that is what this journey is all about .... taking one step at a time and then another step and another step.  When your time is right it will all just click into place.  

Thursday, Nov 6th

I wonder why sometimes we go through the things that we do.  Why do people get sick, lose their jobs, have love ones die and the list goes on and on.  Why do things happen to some people but don't seem to happen to others?  Why are some people stronger than others?

Since I have been under the weather the past four weeks, I have been thinking these things.  I am so use to being able to go and do and this past four weeks I haven't been able to these things.  I have been in pain but the weakness has been worse.  I just haven't had a lot of energy.  Thank goodness for my spark and Advocare products because I am sure they have helped me keep some energy.

This time has made me think about why God does this to me every so often.  Is it to slow me down? To make me take time to rest?  I am sure that has something to do with it.  My husband thinks it is so I will have to depend on other people.  I have had to get my husband to go grocery shopping for me and do things around the house.  I have been able to wash clothes and do some light housework but it is only when I feel like it.  I am learning through all of this that I cant' keep doing everything.  I need to start letting others do things.

I have also been thankful that even though I have felt really bad, there is always someone out there that feels worse than I do.  I am too thankful that my family has been there for me.  And the friends that have been awesome.  I have been overwhelmed with the ones that have called, text or private message.  It has truly blessed my heart.

I do pray for those that we going through health issues, for family members that are having health issues, for those that have lost loved ones and those that are having financial troubles.  No matter how big or small or problems ... God is always there for us.  That I can never be thankful enough for .....